Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Race Is ON...

After waiting the majority of the day, they have decided to get the party started. At 5:30 pm they put the cervadel in place and now we will see what happens. It will stay in place 12 hours at the longest then they will start the petocin approximately one hour after that. So I will get to have a quick shower. They are saying they will get started some time around 7a.m.

Then it's all up to Jordan to decide if he wants to come out and play or not. As long as there is no stress on him they will let me deliver him without a C-Section. If anything looks wrong they will change the plan though. We have a team of high risk specialists and a pediatric cardiologist that will be waiting to evaluate him as soon as he is born. They will all come and meet with us after their evaluations and let us know the plans for his treatment.

Please keep us in your prayers tonight as we get ready for the long road ahead. After nine months we will finally get to see his precious face. He is already spoiled rotten and we can't wait to spoil him more. Well, it is ambien time again so hopefully i can get some much needed rest before the big event. We are as always, praying for all of the other heart babies and their families tonight.

Taking the next steps!!

Well after lots of waiting, the Doctors have decided to go ahead and induce labor. There was lots of talk about waiting until Monday and having problems over the weekend and they consulted with the cardiologist and all decided it was best to go ahead and start the process today. They scanned me this morning and said he weighs 7 lbs 5 oz!

We are still in a holding pattern, imagine that. We are waiting to be transferred to another room and then they will start the cervadil to soften my cervix. From what they told us, unless I go into labor on my own prior to it they will start the induction Friday morning. So, hopefully before tomorrow is over our precious one will make his way into the world!! We are so excited and scared and feeling all kinds of crazy emotions.

Thanks for all of the messages and prayers. We are asking everyone to pray for all of the heart babies because some of the babies' blogs we have been following have been having hard times. We are just about to start many of the same things that they have all gone through and will need all of your support and prayers.

Sit and Wait

We've had a few hours of sleep between the monitors beeping and people coming in to check on things. We are still at a stand still... Not sure what the next step will be. A doctor just came in and said they are going to do an ultrasound and monitor my fluids. Then they will make a decision on the next step. They reassured me that they are all very aware of Jordan's condition and they are prepared. To us that is most important part. As soon as we know more information we will post an update. Please keep praying as the time will be coming soon...

The day has come!

We thought we were just going to see the high risk doctor for our final visit- we thought I would get scanned and hear its all good news and then I would go home and take a nap. Well he came in and said " What do you think about the weather"? We both agreed it was really nice. He said "Well it seems like a nice day to travel." We both just about had a stroke! He said I have already talked to the Doctors in Atlanta and they will be expecting you so don't rush but we think it's best to go ahead and induce. He said my amniotic fluid was low, not dangerously low, but there was no reason to wait.

We got here about 8pm and they hooked up an IV and the NST machine to check for contractions. They said the Dr would come in the morning and they would scan me and decide where to go from there. They gave me something to sleep and we will have to wait and see what happens in the morning. Keep all of the prayers coming. We hope that we will be seeing our little man some time tomorrow, well actually today since it's after midnight!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

6 MORE DAYS - Sept 28, 2010

We are one day closer to finally getting to meet our Little Monkey Boy!!! I know the next few days are going to be full of excitement and fears. I can't wait to see his precious face... I can remember being a kid and always saying when I have a baby his/her name will be Jordan. I always wanted a little boy with black hair, blue eyes and dark skin - guess we will see what God gives me. When I found out I was pregnant - everyone would ask me what do you want? Just like every pregnant women I would say "it doesn't matter as long as they are healthy". Well I have learned from experience that is an understatement. I would give my own heart for him... Just so he wouldn't have to suffer and hurt.

Here are a couple of pictures of his room. I can't wait to bring him home and show it to him... we wanted it to be perfect just for him!

I had my final OB doctors appointment today! Thank goodness... it was such a relief! I am so over going to the doctor every week but I am very thankful for ALL their help. It was kinda sad telling them bye and knowing the next time I see them I will have a little one with me. They have all be so supportive and caring. I couldn't ask for any of them to have been any more understanding.
It hasn't been the easiest pregnancy anyone could have. I was around 15 days pregnant when I was given my 30 day notice that I would no longer have a job due to lay offs. I was the last hired and I had to be the first one to leave. We had already heard rumors that they were going to do lay offs so I had put my house on the market to be sold. Due to the economy no one was buying so I kept patiently waiting for an offer. Around five days before my 30 day notice was up at work they gave me another 30 day notice. Which really helped because that just meant I had a job for 30 more days. But I was still fighting back the tears everyday wondering how would I afford insurance, house payment, etc. About 2 weeks after that my boss came to me and asked would I take a job about 45 mins from home at another hospital. With no questions asked I said "yes - when can I start". I didn't care what it was I just need a job thankfully my insurance would transfer and it would be a day shift job. So that was the first blessing! By now I had put my house up for rent. Anything to help with the payments. A couple came to me about renting the house and they were so excited about it. We agreed on everything and they signed a year lease. That was such a relief! Blessing number two! Then the day came when we found out about Jordan's heart defect - WOW!!! That was a life changing event. Our world was really turned up side down. I never thought of ever having anything but a health baby boy. It never crossed my mind that we would have to face these fears. Then I went into labor at 32 1/2 weeks and haven't been able to work since. But God has provided in so many ways since I went out of work. It has been totally amazing to see total strangers offering their help. We've been so blessed and words can never express how much we appreciate EVERYTHING everyone has done to make our lives a little easier. With all the set backs in the short 9 months, God has never left our sides.
God has given us this baby for a reason and I know that Jordan will have an awesome testimony when he gets older. I have saved every card, every flyer, every email and I will share it all with him once he gets older. I can't wait to show him how much he is loved and how many people were praying for him before he was even born. This whole experience has shown me more about life, my faith and strength that I would have never know had I not been faced with these fears. We have found ourselves asking God everyday for guidance, peace and healing. I know he is working through us to show others what blessings he has to offer.
Please keep praying for all of us, Jordan and the medical staff that will provide care for Jordan and I.

Friday, September 24, 2010

11 More Days

I just can't believe we are counting down the days... It seems unreal! If I knew we were having a healthy baby boy and that his quality of life would be just like most other babies I don't think you would be able to wipe the grin off my face. But the fear of the unknown is weighing so heavy on our hearts. I know we are so excited and can't wait to see his precious face but what's on the road ahead of us scares us to death!

We've been following several blogs since the day we found out about Jordan's heart condition. It has helped us get prepared in so many ways and its given us so much encouragement. But it also makes us so aware of the fears we could soon be facing. One family had their baby 6 days ago and they are fighting for his life right this second. Another family has been in the hospital with their baby for over a month and still have a long journey ahead of them. We find ourselves waking up to check their blogs and going to bed at night checking for updates. Even though we have no idea who these families are personally, their lives have affected ours and we are broken hearted for them. We pray for these children and their families just as much as we pray for our own. We know their hurt could be our reality in the next few weeks - it really hits home. I just want to ask everyone please pray for these families. God knows who they are!

I am personally doing good. Having some pains here and there but nothing too bad. I am still just resting and trying to get mentally and physically prepared for our journey. Life is about to take us in directions we have never faced. God is in control and I know he will see us through any fears we have. Please continue to pray for Jordan, the doctors and us as the time is coming so soon!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I just want to THANK EVERYONE who had a part in the benefit sing for Jordan and I on
09-18-2010. It was TOTALLY AMAZING... It was such a blessing - all the support, time, effort, talent and donations. I felt God's presence in the church as soon as I walked in. God has blessed my life from the day I found out I was pregnant. He continues to show his love and mercy everyday! I don't know if words can ever describe the amount of appreciation we have for everyone that made that night special just for us and our family. The donations are so appreciated and will be used to help us on the unfamiliar road we are soon to face. But with the love and support of others I know we will be blessed. Please continue to pray for Jordan to have the strength to face the battles ahead of him, to give the doctors the knowledge and skill to fix Jordan's heart and for us to have the strength and patience to care for him along the way. We know that God is holding everyone of our hands and leading us down the path that he wants us to go down!

I can honestly say that being pregnant and knowing that your child has a heart defect will make your pregnancy a totally different experience. I don't know if its because the future is unknown and you don't want to take one second for granted or what. But I don't think there is a kick, punch or hiccup that is missed. Then when he isn't moving your worried something is wrong... I am starting to get a little sad thinking about him not being inside my tummy. I love to watch him move and feel him press on my lungs so bad that I can't hardly breath. It has been an amazing experience that I am so thankful for everyday! I can't imagine not having gone through the pregnancy and never taken one day for granted. The days are counting down...13 more days!

I stopped taking the Brethine on Friday 09-17-2010 around 10 a.m. We were a little nervous but content with the doctors decisions. By now he is 37 weeks and he is basically full term - all of his major organs are developed and properly functioning. The weekend went great! I rested A LOT and tried to pack a few little things to be prepared if he decided to come during the night.

I woke up yesterday 09-20-2010 and just didn't feel right. I started having some pains that were unfamiliar. I tried to ignore it but it wouldn't go away. So I decided I might better call the doctor. Of course their answer was for me to come on in and lets check things out. When I got there the pains had not stopped and may have even been a little worse. The hooked me up to the monitors (NST) and of course I was having contractions. Its funny how you know everything about all the machines because its just routine now. I could basically work all of them by myself if I needed to. The contractions weren't close enough that they were really concerned. He said for me to go home and go to bed. To take medicine for the pain and sleep as much as possible. He also mentioned that he didn't think I would make it until Oct 4th but for me to wait it out and come back in a week.

Today I had an appointment with my high risk doctor. Dr Edwards says Jordan is growing big and right on schedule. Other than his heart is a healthy little boy. He is starting the breathing process and his lungs look great. He reassured us that if I went into labor I knew to get to the hospital ASAP and to call the doctor on the way. That I didn't have 30 minutes to waste in registration. I will see him again in one week and that will be our last visit! Thank goodness because I am so tried of doctors appointments!

We are getting all of our last minute items washed and packed. I feel like we are as ready as we will ever be. I am so ready to see him and hold him in my arms. Thanks everyone again for all the love, support and prayers. I would also like to ask everyone to pray for the other HLHS babies. We have other blogs we've been following and most of their journeys haven't been as easy as they had hoped. God continues to bless each one of them but they are needing extra prayers to give them strength and faith.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up
his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born.
One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus
"I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you."
He reassures the scared little angel that everything will
be okay, and that he is just going for a visit.
He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels
down and says, "How about if you leave half of your
heart here with me and take the other half with you,
will that be okay?" The angels smiles and says,
"I guess that will work." But the little angel is still
a little scared. He asks, "Will I be okay with only
half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you will,
I have other angels there that will help out, and
you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel
more details about his plan. He says
"When you are born, your mommy will be scared,
so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak
just remember that I have the other half of your heart."
"Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday."
"And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make
your heart whole again. Always remember that you are
not broken, just torn between two loves."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Final Appointments in Atlanta

September 14, 2010

We had a safe trip to and from Atlanta Monday. The doctors appointments went well and we've made all the final arrangements. Our first appointment was with the OB doctor. He said to come off the Breathine (meds to stop contractions) at 37 weeks which will be this coming Saturday. So I am a little nervous about that but he said Jordan will be considered full term and the medicine will not do any good after 37 weeks. If he wants to come he will come with the medicine or not. He said for us to be at Northside on October 3rd at 7 pm and they would start the procedures for inducing on October 4th. He explained the process and how they wanted the labor to go...if all goes as planned he will be born sometime that Monday afternoon.

When we induce, they will have ALL the doctors on standby waiting for his arrival. They said if he is stable I may be able to hold him for a few minutes. He will be taken to NICU for them to get him on the monitors and give him the medicine that will keep his heart functioning properly until surgery. That makes me really sad to know I've waited 9 months to get my hands on him and I won't even be able to enjoy that special time with him for long. But I want them to do what is best for him and if its getting him to the NICU, then that is what we will deal with. All of the people at Northside have assured us that they are ready for him and will know exactly what needs to be done. After he is stable and the doctors have looked at him, they will let some of the family go see him and once I am able they will let me go see him. I can't imagine how exciting it will be to finally get to see him. It breaks my heart to know I may not get to hold him for weeks though. I will be asking everyday "Can I please hold him" I know when the time is right they will allow me to but I want to feel him against me so badly. The cardiologist will do an ECHO within the first couple of hours and discuss the results with the surgeon and they will meet with us to discuss the next steps. His condition will determine ALL of the calls. If he is doing well they may keep him at Northside until I am dismissed if not they may have to take him on to Egleston. So my prayers are that he will be able to stay at Northside until I get to leave...can't imagine not being able to see him. Once he gets to Egleston the surgery will be scheduled and he will be the boss. We have to take this one step at a time now. Let's get him here first and then we will all figure out what he needs and go from there.

Our second appointment was with the perinatologist. They did an ultrasound and said my cervix is still closed (which is wonderful news) and then they scanned Jordan. He is growing good and starting to practice breathing on his own. That is a very good sign of his overall health. They say he weighs about 6 pounds give or take 6 ounces and is right on schedule. The appointment went well and she was very positive about his condition and they want me to continue resting until the big day!

With all the Atlanta doctors appointments behind us we are patiently waiting for the BIG DAY! It will be here before we know it. Can't imagine how our lives are about to change. We've waited on this day for many years! I've always wanted a little boy - now my dreams are coming true.

Thanks again to everyone who has prayed for us and Jordan. We continue to feel God's blessings everyday. Our next appointments are Tuesday with the OB and perinatologist in Albany. We will keep everyone posted.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 11, 2010

We had our third and final baby shower today! It was very nice and we got lots of good gifts for Jordan. He is all set and spoiled for sure! Thanks to everyone who helped make the shower special just for us and Baby Jordan!

I've had a boring week...nothing eventful at all! I went to the doctor Wednesday and they all agree that he is doing great and right on schedule. Dr Inman is very happy with his activity and say to keep feeding/watering him. Dr Edwards says he ready to be born anytime now to just let it happen. I feel a little differently about that. I am not ready for him to come just yet. I think the longer he stays inside the tummy the better he will be for surgery.

I am officially 8 months pregnant today! Can't believe how fast time has gone by. It seems just like yesterday I found out I was pregnant. The pregnancy has been a breeze other than the early labor. The stress from Jordan's diagnosis is a whole other story. We are ready for the next chapter in our lives - when our precious boy comes into this world.

We are leaving tomorrow to go to Atlanta for an OB appointment to make the final arrangements for his birth. We will keep everyone posted. Thanks for all of the love and support!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Ups and Downs

I am sure that everyone has faced challenges in their lives that they thought they would never get over. I have been there... Oh this was such a terrible day or questioning why did I have to change jobs. Well God has been there everytime holding my hand and walking me through every challenge I have ever faced.

The past few day have been some of the hardest days for me. I have such fear of the unknown. With CHD (congeital heart defects) you never know what your child will face at any point in their lives. I have been so blessed to talk with other heart moms and they are amazing. Their faith and strength has been incrediable. They are always willing to help you with advice and give you hope. I hope that I will have the same faith and strength in 5 weeks when Jordan is brought into this world.

There is apart of me that wishes he could just stay in my tummy forever! Everytime I feel him kick and roll over I know he is safe. As long as he is inside of me he is protected and has no pain. The moment he is born he will have to fight for his life FOREVER! I have questioned WHY? WHY MY JORDAN? WHY ME? I think that its only human nature to ask that question. For all of you that have kids - when they fall and hurt their knee it hurts your heart for them. So I can't imagine how our lives will be effected. With him having to go through open heart surgery just days after he is born. Everyday is a gift from God - I'm finding it very difficult to live in the moment, even though I know that this is what is best for the both of us.

There are so many emotions as a heart mom that you have to face - anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, regret... hope, faith, joy, happiness and being thankful. We have been following so many heart babies blogs ever since Jordan was diagnosed with HLHS at 28 weeks. That is a day we will never forget and our lives have not been the same since. The normal lives that most people share will never be normal for us again. We will always have the thoughts of when his next surgery will be, making sure his immune system stays strong, taking medicines and going to doctor appointments. We were reading up on the blogs we follow last Sunday when we found out that a family had to say their goodbyes to their son that was only 2 days old. Our hearts broke...we were devastated for the parents and family. We know that this is something that we may face with our Jordan but we keep so much hope and faith that he will be strong and God will allow us to take care of him forever. We have prayed more in the last 14 weeks I think than I have in my entire life. We find ourselves praying for our Jordan, our strength and faith, for other families facing the battle of heart defects. I have questioned why is this even such a thing... these are innocent babies that are born with a horrible defect that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. We are also following a blog of a family whose baby is 2 weeks old and is doing great. Their story has been such an inspiration to our lives. Everyday we wake up to check her updates to see how baby Joshua is doing. I have been emailing his mother the past few days and its amazing how heart moms are so willing to help in every way possible. God bless everyone of them! God gives these babies to us to show us that miracles happen everyday and that God will never leave us or forsake us!

God has a plan for each one of us and sometimes his plan is far greater than we can imagine. I know that Jordan will be a blessing to our lives! God will use Jordan's life and broken heart in a powerful way. The path we are soon to go down is unknown. To sit and watch the monitors, to question why the numbers are changing, to see all the wires and tubes connected to our baby boy. The helpless feelings we will face as Jordan fights for his life. We will soon face our fears and we will need our family and friends to walk with us, sit with us, cry with us, wait with us and pray with us.

I was reading a heart babies blog and the mother had a link to the interview posted below. I watched the video and begin to cry and find peace in my situation. Everyday will be a challenge and I know the days to come will be hard. But God is there and he will never leave us! This quote came from the interview and it is something I have repeated in my head all day long. I have to have faith in it!

"If we can trust God with our eternity, we've got to trust Him with our now."
September 3, 2010

Our second baby shower went great! We had lots of fun and we are so appreciative of everyone coming out and sharing this special time with us. We got so many nice presents and many of them have already been washed and are in Jordan's hospital bag. THANK YOU SO MUCH MALLORY, ASHLEE, RACHEAL AND HEIDI!

I had a doctors appointment Monday and it was an all day event. They hooked me up to the monitors to make sure I wasn't having contractions. The contractions were a negative but they were concerned with Jordan's activity and heart rate. They brought me a Coke and he started bouncing off the walls. So hours later they let me go... I am still unclear of what was going on but I am so ready to go to the high risk doctor on Wednesday. I have been a little nervous about the situation ever since we left on Monday but I am trying to relax and not worry so much. He seems to be moving around and staying active.

The rest of the week will be kinda boring. No plans- just resting! I am starting to get used to the bed rest. Not waking up till eleven and then taking a nap... but thats what I am suppose to be doing. I hope I feel good this weekend and I am able to enjoy the first UGA football game a little. GO DAWGS!

My next doctors appointments are Wednesday... OB doctor (they will hook me up to monitor to check for contractions and monitor babies heart rate) and we will also see the high risk doctor. So it will be a full day of appointments! Please keep us in your prayers and I will post more next week about the appointments.

Before the Morning by Josh Wilson